Last night Mama Gurevich, Betty Ann, and I watched Elegy. For me it was like watching a thriller - I found myself thinking, "Its okay - you don't live in that world. Don't worry, your world is different." What world was I so scared of? A world where feminine beauty is a man's heartbreaking, life-giving heroin, and the women cursed to bear it are slighted, injured, and destroyed because they are so desperately needed. But this is my world. The only difference between my life and relationships and the ones depicted in Elegy is the element of prettiness. It seems like for some men that feminine prettiness is the intoxicating difference. But for many, the prettiness is not necessary. Something else about femininity, maybe a comfort, a perception of freedom or ease in the world, vulnerability and openness, maybe that is what is so maddening for possessive boys. But that has nothing to do with prettiness. I wonder why they are connected for most people.

I liked watching this movie with Mama Gurevich, because she kept saying things like, "Look at the fear in his eyes..." and "Isn't she great?!" These two beautiful actors gave performances in the way that frangipani petals seethe their fragrance into the air.