Andrew Wyeth

I was first introduced to the paintings of Andrew Wyeth during a childhood visit to Bloomsburg. Sister was going to buy a puppy, and Mother and I went along. Well, not only did Mother and I leave with a puppy of our own who we called Chloe and brought back to Moldova with us, but we also found out that the woman who had sold us the puppies was none other than the sister of Helga Testorf. Helga Testorf was born in Chadd's Ford, PA, and she became one of Andrew Wyeth's favorite models. She would sit for him for hours on end - once or twice she even refused to let him stop painting. "You can't quit now," she'd say, "I still have so much energy!" Their collaboration produced some really nice paintings and an awful lot of scandal. I could appreciate the scandal years before I could appreciate the art.

When I went with Abel to the Olson House at the Farnsworth Museum in Rockland, we saw the actual buildings Wyeth had painted. We were standing in the shed looking at a blue door, with the bottom scratched by a dog's claws years before. Then we looked up and saw Wyeth's painting - "The Blue Door"...there was the door, scratches and all, captured with such attention to detail. It was a strange feeling, being somewhere where something beautiful had been meticulously created. That was the experience I associate with learning that instincts can be wrong. You can hold tightly to a belief in a certain outcome, it seems inconceivable that you could be wrong. You have always made decisions by your instincts, by what feels right, and look how far that has gotten you in life! You know it is only a matter of time before your desired outcome becomes reality...buy you are wrong. Your wrongness creeps into your mind slowly but sharply. Each time you face it is a little nightmare, until it washes over you and you finally accept that you are not only thoroughly wrong but also powerless to change the outcome. Its a trauma and it effects you for years afterwards. Eventually you like to entertain the thought that you have worked very very hard to heal yourself and bring yourself to a more beautiful and humble experience of Self and your life.