It's fine, everything is fine.

This evening I write from the rocky cliffs and murky bogs of premenstrual grumpiness. That long time friend of mine is calling me from the depths of my mind and telling me not to accept things as they are, no, life certainly is NOT good enough as it is. I remember telling you about it a few years ago - I wish I could remember now what you said. Here is a fantasto-historical re-enactment of our conversation:

L: So I'm going along every day and everything's fine, and then - BAM!- there's this voice in my head. She whispers seductively to me, she says, "Lenya, I know you better than the rest...GET OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP NOW!!"

Z: I see...and how do you feel when you hear this voice?

L: Well, I feel like everything I thought was good enough suddenly isn't anymore, like I've made a horrible mistake and I'm trapped.

Z: Do you think you should get out of your relationship?

L: Well, I don't know...maybe because the Voice visits me around my period, it is actually my inner voice of wisdom, uncompromising in dignity and refusing to let me go astray - you know, my INSTINCTS.

Z: Len, baby, listen up and listen good. Your instincts are with you all the time. Yes, befriend this shrew if you must, but all of your other guiding voices are just as wise as her. What does the voice REALLY need? Does she need you to end your relationship or is it something ELSE, something entirely more important than that, something that has nothing, nothing at all, to do with anyone but YOU?

L: (sigh) Oh, Zoe, your wisdom speaks to me so directly that I feel as if its been with me all along, unacknowledged.

Z: You're beautiful, baby - remember that. I love you, kid.

Stay tuned for my psychoanalytic deconstruction of The Departed!